Adventures on a San Juan Island tour with Skitnik

Hooo boy! It's been a while. Life has been cray-Z. Here is my attempt at keeping this post to one topic: TOUR!!!

That's right...I got to go on an amazing San Juan island tour with my band Skitnik. Have I mentioned how much I love Skitnik? Haha...I'll probably stop saying that one of these days, but today is not that day.

Thanks to the hard work and connections of a couple of my band mates, we were able to play three shows on three islands in three days and it was totally awesome!

Waiting for the Ferry

We had a little fun exploring during the wait..

Photo Courtesy: Michelle Bates

This trip however, did not start out totally awesome for me. I had some type of weird stomach thing going on (food poisoning?) and I threw up three times that morning before we even hit our first destination. 

Here we are playing on the ferry. That's me on accordion. Maybe you can tell by the look on my face that I'm not feeling in top shape. 

Photo Courtesy: Michelle Bates

On our way to Waldron Island, all of us plus a few more AND all of our gear, crammed onto this little boat. 

And here are my feet on the way to Waldron :)

I think this photo speaks for itself!

Photo Courtesy: Alex Larson

Our first destination was Waldron Island where we held a music workshop for the school there. There are 14 kids, grades K-8 (I think) in one school. This place is awesome! If I had to go to school all over again, this would be the place. I could go into why but I think that would be another blog post entirely. 

The first thing I saw as I walked into the school was this beauty! Upon which my band mate immediately placed our band sign.

Waldron Island is like stepping into the 1940's. Its a totally different world there. People are very much who they are. There is a totally different level of living and simplicity when there are no paved roads, everyone uses outhouses, only private boats can access it and well I could go on...these are really only the superficial differences about living on this island. There is a feeling there that I can't quite describe. Giving it my best shot: real, calm and slow. There is nowhere to get in a hurry there and there is only so much you can hide on an island of about 85 year-round inhabitants. And really, they just don't seem to fuck around while at the same time being totally welcoming and engaging. 

That evening we played a show in the school (which is the town's main gathering place) with the band Los Hermanos. It was absolutely lovely to play for 3/4 of the entire population and to be a part of giving them some entertainment that they don't often get. 

Here is the view from where I slept on Waldron. It is also very similar to the view from the outhouse. I can't think of a more lovely place to back one out!

Next up was Orcas Island. We arrived on Orcas with plenty of time to get a good soak in at the Doe Bay Resort before our performance. I was still not feeling really well and this was a splendid way to get some serious healing on. 

There are no pictures allowed at the clothing optional hot tubs and sauna but here are a couple from the cliff near by.

 Life is rough, I tell ya!

Our show that night was at the Odd Fellow's Hall. We (ahem) didn't do a very good job advertising this particular gig. We ended up playing for and a grand total of 20 (including the other band). Despite the small number, we spared no energy. We gave that tiny crowd all we had and by the end of the night, everyone was on their feet. The energy in the room was fantastic! 

Some Los Hermanos and juggling on Orcas Island.

That night we decided to round out the night with a little karaoke at the local dive bar. Skitnik is fortunate enough to have some pretty talented friends. One of those amazing people is JustinCredible! He often does a couple of acts to our music in the middle of our set. He decided that he wanted to do his sword swallowing act during karaoke. One of our friends sang "Fame" by David Bowie, and Justin did his thing!

After the crowd went wild and the song was over I quote the seemingly perma-drunk karaoke host, "That's not fair, not everyone has a fucking sword swallower with them." Haha...I love it when we steal the show!

Photo courtesy: Alex Larson

The last day of tour was on Lopez Island. We arrived on Lopez early enough to meet some great people who allowed us to essentially take over their cozy yet amazing house and rest for a bit. I don't have words to describe the absolute loveliness of not only this house and property but even more so the people that inhabit it. 

No words. But here are a few pics.

This. House!

Chillin' out and playing a few tunes.

Rj being silly out on the part of the property where they hold "Brew Fest"

Our show that night was at the grange hall. I have no idea where it was exactly but it seemed to be almost in the middle of nowhere. The middle of nowhere...amazing! 

We packed the house and made them dance until the walls were sweating! 

When we were packed and cleaned up several of us ended up on the front steps of the grange hall. As we were out there chatting and admiring the unpredicted clear skies and almost full moon, every time someone would step out of the building onto the steps, they would stop mid-sentence and comment on the moon. So much so that at some point, we all started howling at it. 

After the Lopez show we were blessed to get to hang out with Los Hermanos at one of the member's home. What started out (for me) as an excuse to get in a little more hot tub action (still not feeling too well), turned into an amazing evening of getting to know and connect with some pretty remarkable people. It was 2 am before I even dipped a toe into the hot tub. Again, words cannot describe how absolutely lovely these people are. No. Words. 

We went to their place for breakfast the following morning and I was able to take a few pics. 

Here is the backside of the house designed and built by it's inhabitants. 

Tour dog! She'll fetch all night...literally!

You cannot resist the rope swing...

The trip was wrapped up by a fitting 6 hour wait for the ferry home. It didn't matter because I was tired and in great company. 

Other than performing and traveling the highlight of this tour for me was meeting so many wonderful new people. Seeing how they live, using their outhouses and connecting with them over the food they prepared with love for their guests, most of whom they'd just met.

Being in the band is awesome...there are a lot of perks. Especially being a part of a large, close-knit one. People are so willing to help out the band. But what I love more is being a part of what the band has to offer in return. We bring our best to the table, to entertain you for an evening, to make you dance, to help you experience your life with a little more creativity, energy and joy you may not have had otherwise. 

I was sick all weekend and was forced to forgo experiencing some of the wondrous things the San Juan Islands have to offer in exchange to have the energy to give the audience what they came for, and then some. A lot of the time I felt like a nauseous lump, hardly able to stand for more than 5 minutes, let alone carry all of my gear from one place to the next. But when it came close to time to go on, the energy would come. I can honestly say that I don't know exactly from where. Somewhere beyond me,  because when we were performing no one (not even me) was able to tell that I had been feeling terrible for the entire day before the show. The music gods, the muse, the universe, whatever it was clearly wanted me to be "on"!

I love playing music and I love playing music with Skitnik. But this tour was so much more than that. We all got to know each other better as a band and as people. It was a great way to see how well we actually all work together. And yet again....no words to describe how amazing it is to create with these six incredible people. We have something that I can only best describe as magic and I absolutely cannot be in the presence of Skitnik and not feel like the luckiest girl on the planet! ...Seriously!

The Adventure that was February: music, curling, heartache, love, family, friends, stilt pants, stress and awesome

   That month....February, oh February you took me for quite the ride! The title doesn't even tell it all (but mostly I guess it kinda does).

   First off (I'm about to make myself sound like an idiot) when I changed the calendar at work from January to February, I was totally convinced that February was misspelled...where the hell did that "R" after the "B" come from? Does UPS know they misspelled it on their calendar? (this really happened by the way...I'm not so wet-brained anymore but sometimes I still think like one).

So here is my month summarized mostly in order.

Slight (ongoing) rawness in my heart:
   A relationship of sorts ending and the emotional stuff from that. New levels of awareness about myself and my patterns with men have been jogging around my head. Its good stuff and I appreciate the fact that I can be aware of these behaviors but it does add another layer of emo weirdness to my daily life while these new understandings emerge.

First project for my Action Heart Fashion business:
   My friend has hired me to make him stilting pants! When they're done, they'll kick all kinds of stilting ass!

 Here is one part of the stilt pant legs, mid-project

Hosting a musical Valentine's event:
   I put on an open mic style tribute to heartbreak on Valentine's day at a local venue here called the Honeymoon. It was titled "It's Not Me, It's You". Several people signed up and performed all kinds of songs about heartache. It was great and according to the feedback, a fun time was had by all!

Me and my lovely friend Kerrie at "It's not me, it's you"

Kicking music practice up several notches:
   A friend of mine wanted me to perform a duet with him at the V-Day event so I had to learn a new song. Also my band Skitnik was preparing for two gigs within less than a week of each other while adding three new songs to our set list. This meant added rehearsals and upping my personal practice by several hours per week.

A new tattoo:
   Recent developments in my life caused me to up the ante on my self-love stuff and I decided to make that commitment to myself permanent and pretty!

Not bad for stick and poke

New software learned at work...and I don't even have a desk job:
   I had to shift my hours a bit and come in super early while juggling extra tasks in my regular life. I also have little interest in learning the software so my motivation for it was pretty minimal, which makes it all that much harder to care about....the rest of my life is so much cooler than e-commerce.

Curling (yes, curling!) in Seattle:
   For several years my brother Sterling has hosted an event for his birthday entitled "Curling With Sterling". We bundle up and head out to the Granite Curling Club and curl our brains out for four hours with family and friends. This year we met up before hand at my cousin's house for food and family mingling, so much fun! I love my family and pretty much every opportunity we have to get together, we do. Even if that means driving several hours there and back in one day, we do it! It's what we do for each other and to spend time together.

Ready to sweep!

A day with my Hetero life-mate:
   My dear, amazing friend who I haven't seen in five and a half years was going to be visiting the area for derby business. She wasn't able to come up to Bellingham on her one free day here so I drove to SeaTac, picked her up and we spent the day doing almost nothing. It was awesome! It felt like there hadn't been hardly any space of time since we had last seen each other. One of the many reasons why I love this woman so much...with her, I can just be. Its natural, easy, loving, silly and relaxing. We had nothing really on the agenda and the lovely Pacific Northwest weather was doing just that..raining. So we just were. One thing we did need to do was find a photo booth, it's one of the things we do when we get together. In search of one we found something better...The Medal Master! This bad boy etches your picture onto a little charm! We made three of them, one for each of us and one for my mom.

Love this woman!

Skitnik's biggest show yet:
   We got to open for March Fourth Marching Band at the Wild Buffalo! (technically this happened on March 1st but it wrapped up this month just perfectly so I'm adding it in).  If you haven't seen or heard of M4, check them out, they're awesome!! The whole band was super excited and honored to get to open for such an amazing act! They're a high energy, fabulously costumed dance band with stilt-walking and dancing performers. They tour constantly and have been going strong for ten years! Oh and did I mention they eye candy?! There's a little something for everyone to gaze at in that band! And we got to open for them in front of a sold out crowd! How awesome is that? I got to cross something off of my "bucket list" that I didn't know was on there...it's amazing how wonderful life can be! The greatest part about it for me was the fact that I get be a part of such awesomeness and magic with six other amazing people collectively doing something that we love, working hard together to keep it going strong and to keep it something that we all enjoy, love and care about. Have I mentioned how much I love Skitnik?

Having fun and making people dance!

Took some down time:
   I don't do this often. In fact I'm pretty horrible at it. I quite often only get downtime after I have run myself so hard for so long that my body no longer gives me the choice. But this month, especially in the last week, I allowed myself to not do shit. And by that I mean sitting and watching a movie in the evening. Which I did on more than one occasion this month. That alone is almost completely unheard of for me. Tonight, I plan on doing it again (can you say Harry Potter marathon?). Today, my intention was to get an espresso to go at the Black Drop Coffeehouse but I ended up taking a seat in the sun and just sitting. I did take a couple pictures (I can't help myself), otherwise I just sat and stared and watched other people enjoy the sun, just sitting. Crazy!

Sitting. Just. Sitting.

Life is good. There is a lot going on and it's all pretty much an awesome adventure in experience and learning how to do all the stuff I love without losing my mind or making myself sick.

Stay tuned for my next adventure...what will it be?


Adventure tip:

In the magical land of Seattle there is a place called Miner's Landing. Whilst my Hetero Life-Mate and I were searching high and low for a photo booth to cram ourselves into that was open before 4pm we were directed to the arcade where, you guessed it, they have a photo booth. Two of them actually. However...they have something even better than a photo booth that we believe we were divinely lead to and that was the Medal Master!  If you're ever near Pike Place Market wander on down to Pier 57 and get your face etched onto a little charm!

adventures in loneliness and considering new friends

     This week I am missing people. No one specifically (no offense), just people in general. I like people. I like interacting with them. I like the adventure of meeting them, getting to know them, connecting, laughing with them, seeing what makes them tick and really just being around people.
 
   I am around other people everyday. But most days, not that many. Some days, other than the people at the checkout stand, it's only one or two other people that I get to connect with.

   Just over a year ago I moved into my very own place, without roommates, for the first time in my life ever. Okay, my son is my roommate but it is really a different situation with children. Plus he's only been here for the last five months. I'm talking adults. Or at least people my age-ish.

   My entire life I have lived with other people and I had wanted to live alone for a long time. I had this fantasy about it. About doing whatever I wanted, in my own time, in my own house, naked, baking and blasting dance music at 3am...or whatever.

   But the fantasy was not about living alone as much as it was about not having anyone else to answer to. I have been somewhat (that's an understatement) of a co-dependent for most of my life. And when you're a co-dependent everything you do is dictated by your perceived ideas of what other people think you should or shouldn't be doing. It is a cage, a self-imposed, ego-driven confinement, fueled by low self-esteem. So the idea of living alone meant I didn't have to worry about what anyone else thought of my music, food, decorating, pajamas or anything else...I would be free!

   Turns out it's not really like that. I mean, I guess in a way it is but it's not the freedom that I had anticipated. It certainly has its benefits. But the truth is, I really miss having people around. I miss smelling other people cooking, even if I don't get to eat it. I miss there being someone home when I get off work that I can sit and b.s. with for half an hour. I miss the noise in the house when I'm trying to sleep (because it actually helps me fall asleep). I miss the random ridiculousness and the true heart of people that you don't get to experience unless you live with them.

   I'm coming to the understanding that I value roommates and all that goes with them more than I value the freedom to walk around naked (which some roommates do anyway).

   Maybe I just need to make more friends and have them come over. I've never really been awesome at making friends. Don't get me wrong...I am a great friend and I have some amazing people in my life that I am very close with. But most of them live far away or have families with busy lives.

  When this woman in my yoga class, who was new in town, started talking to me consistently, I wondered why she was talking to me? She didn't know me or my friends. I didn't understand.  "Oh this is what people do...this is how they make friends. They meet people while doing things that they like and make friends with them....weird."

   Maybe I make friends in an awkward/backwards sort of way. I've always just been the type to meet friends of friends. I'm with my friends enough, I meet some of theirs and vice versa then boom, I have new friends. Same thing with guys. I've never really been one to date. "Lets meet at said location at such and such time, eat food and talk." What?! Can't we all just hang out? Single me out in a room and I tend to be kind of awkward (I am getting better at this one though)!

   It also seems that most times I really start to get pretty close and connect with someone, they go away for whatever reason. Always on good terms but that's just the way life is sometimes. Everyone has their own adventures and paths to follow. This does not stop me from trying though. My life is always enriched by these passing spirit connections.

  So what's next for me? If all goes well, I will be moving back into a roommate situation at the end of the summer. In the mean time I need to meet new people, make some connections and get out of the house more, which is hard to do as a single mom. Perhaps nourish some of the relationships I already have a little more. This loneliness thing is really starting to get to me.

   I used to think that I didn't need people and that I was much better off without them. People can disappoint and cause pain. Although these things are true, not having people in my life is much worse. It robs me of the adventure of absolute joy, love, support and companionship I get when I open myself to others. And as long as I don't watch any reality television, I generally think that all people are totally awesome!
  
Until we meet again!

Thanks for reading :) and feel free to comment. Can you relate to this? Tell us why!

Adventures in...apparently food porn

   Whew! I am exhausted. It's been a crazy, awesome, tiring, adventure and love filled few weeks. I kind of wish I would have written a better blog last week so I could half-ass this week's blog. But I cannot. So here I am, finally recovered from holiday awesomeness exhaustion and a bout with winter and life circumstance induced depression.

   I wanted this edition to be about holiday family awesomeness but it's not going to be...not too much anyway. I love my family and every time we get together, it's a lovely thing. It was announced that we have a new little one on his or her way to our growing extended family in June and we got to Skype with our missing family parts in Boston. There is always lots of love, laughter and genuine connection going on. A little more about that in the next blog, but first, a little food porn from our holiday feast...

   We'll start with my step-mom's most amazing rolls! Seriously these things are little, light, buttery chunks of heaven! It's not a difficult task to down 5 or 6 of them without thinking about it!

My goofy, younger brother mixing dough for the awesome, Austrian cookies he made, pictured below. (I know he's not food porn but still pretty good looking, aye ladies?!)

       Yes, they were as good as they look and no, they're not Paleo. That's ok, I get to indulge :)

And finally a slice of my almost Paleo pumpkin pie (I added milk) and homemade whipped cream sweetened with maple syrup.

     I just made an executive decision to stop this blog here and start another one about my winter depression. So I hope you enjoy the food porn, it's certainly fun taking the pictures. I try not to obsess about the photos to much. It doesn't hurt that I have a special app on my phone that makes it super easy to do!

Until we meet again friends...I'll be back soon!

Thanks for reading!

Adventures in Fear and Confronting Yourself

   It's been an interesting week involving the emotional adventures in Carrie's head. (There will likely be some swearing in this episode). It started out hanging out with a guy friend of mine, a performance in Seattle with my band, continued with work on my current project, the second to last week of school and the onset of a bacterial infection. I got increasingly more tired throughout the week and by Thursday I was forced to spend about 36 consecutive hours, horizontally.

   Fighting an infection causes my brain to not fire logically at my normal capacity thus bringing my ability to handle my emotions with said logic down to about 20 percent. Do you see where I'm going with this? I've spent some time this week crying, talking with those closest to me and facing some of my demons. Thankfully I'm not pms-ing because who knows what sort of unruly bitch-beast would have been released!

    With my fluctuating hormones on my side this week I got to explore into the realm of "liking" someone. YES, I said it...I LIKE SOMEBODY! That's right I, Carrie, like A BOY. An intelligent, awkward, sexy, dirty, independent social butterfly who is a mad cook with a generous heart. Sounds terrible right? You said it! Gods forbid I enjoy a man's company enough to want to enjoy it a little bit more. I seriously have a problem with this, a big one. I don't want to like a boy. I hate liking boys. The last time I let myself get really excited about a boy he ended up beating the crap out of me on a regular basis for two years. So naturally, I'm a little hesitant.

    Don't worry, this post isn't about that sort of thing. Plus, I love myself today and I would never let anyone treat me like that ever again. That all being said, I'm still a scared little girl when it comes to liking someone. I will not allow myself to get excited about it. And that, my friends, is the most torturous part about the whole thing. I want to be excited (at least a little) but the mere thought of it literally terrifies me. I mentioned crying earlier...ya. This shit brings me to tears.

   My insides are all torn up about this. I want to dream about the adventures we could have together, what it would be like to travel with him, playing music, practicing yoga in remote and beautiful locations, cooking together and creating bizarre and delicious ferments, bike tours, hikes, shooting, meeting strangers, the list goes on and on. But I stop myself dead in my tracks. I stop before we've even held hands. I can't bring myself to do it. This may sound extreme but it feels like I will fucking die if I let myself dream.

    *sigh* I don't even want to get to the point where I even begin to like someone because that is where I start to die. So I try to fool myself into believing that I'm not really feeling what I'm feeling. This is where my lack of ability for logical thinking this week, came in handy because I could no longer reason myself out of my emotions. *Bing* Break-through time!

   Finally I allowed myself be okay with the fact that I like this dude. And now that I've had some time to work through my fears and calm down a bit, I want to profess my like for him right. this. minute. This is a big deal for me and I feel a sense of urgency. I need to know NOW if he likes me the same or I'm left not knowing if it is safe to continue liking him. So of course, as some sort of cosmic joke, certain circumstances have lead to there being no way of contacting him for several days unless I run into him somewhere. This leaves me sitting on my hands...waiting. Effing waiting! I can't wait for this!  Limbo. Freaking limbo! (I'm trying to keep it clean see).

   So what happens next? I get to be. I get to be still. It's actually a really good thing that I haven't been able to contact him this week or I likely would have done and/or said something really stupid. This way I get to really understand and own how I feel and not put it onto him. I get to see how all of these fears have nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. So when I do get to see him again, I can be confident and at peace with my own shit. I can continue the relationship, however it unfolds, with love and kindness instead of fear and expectations. (big ol' sigh of relief here!)

   The emotional roller coaster is exhausting! I'm glad that I don't ride it that often. Although it is a rough ride, it always results in some kind of personal break through and that is an awesome adventure, especially when it's finally through!

   I get back to the place of peace and personal acceptance with a new understanding of what makes me, me. And I love me!

   Over and out until next week friends!

   Please feel free to comment below on your own experience, how crazy you think I am or any other adventures you want to share!



Adventure Tip:
This week I encourage you to reach out to someone close if you are having a rough go about things. It is absolutely the most important thing for me to have several people that I can talk to about what I am going through. My friends are able to see my fears from an outside and unaffected perspective. They can see things that I can't or wont. They point them out to me lovingly and sometimes with a bop on the forehead...whatever makes me get it! (my friend actually did this to me this week). Without their loving support I can honestly say that I have no idea where I would be. They remind me that I am not alone in this world inside and outside of my head! So adventure beyond your fears and express them to a safe loved one.