Wednesday, December 19, 2012

adventures in life and skipping the blog for a week (kind of)

   This week's adventure isn't going to be much. I'm skipping the blog and attending to my holiday duties. I suppose by writing a blog about how I'm not writing a blog this week is in fact, writing a blog. The point is that not too much thought or energy is going into this one. At this point the blog is just for fun and generating little attention so I'm all right with doing this. I write this blog because I like to. I am at least writing this little bit because I am committed to writing something to put out into the world at least once a week. So here it is.

   As far as the holiday is concerned, I have family coming in from out of town and it should be a lovely time. But there is much preparation to be done and certain self-imposed, creative deadlines that I must meet. I think that I have allowed myself enough time to finish my tasks without losing my mind...we'll see.

   This week I had my last day of school, continued work on my project, got to hear one of my songs and then see my name on the big screen, helped my friends begin decorating their 7 plus foot tall holiday tree that has roughly 1700 lights and over 10 U-Haul sized moving boxes worth of ornaments that go onto it. I also got to perform at a craft fair and at a local cafe with one of my band mates, both of which payed off more per hour than my day job (gotta love that!), caught up with a friend over coffee. Annnd really this list could go on and on and not include the day to day regular boring life stuff so I'll stop here. The point is, my life is full! It's busy and fulfilling and for the most part, I'm pretty happy with it (except for that pesky day job).

   Pretty much I'm tired and rambling to fill up space. So I'm going to wrap it up. I promise I will be back next week with photos and delicious and adventurous stories to tell! Keeping up a blog is a lot of work and I only do this once a week! What happens when it takes off and I have to do this every day?!! For far less hours and far more pay?!! Believe it and achieve it my friends! The adventure awaits...just watch me!

   Over and out until next week


 Adventure Tip:
If you're a musician in Bellingham, WA and you like good food, head on down to The Old Town Cafe They will give you a meal on the house if you perform for an hour, plus you can accept tips. Not too shabby. The atmosphere is homey, bright and showcases local art, the food is locally sourced as much as possible and if you're a vegetarian, the menu is pretty amazing! Rarely has my cup gone without hot coffee, even on the busiest of mornings. It's a great place for any adventure to begin! 


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Adventures in Fear and Confronting Yourself

   It's been an interesting week involving the emotional adventures in Carrie's head. (There will likely be some swearing in this episode). It started out hanging out with a guy friend of mine, a performance in Seattle with my band, continued with work on my current project, the second to last week of school and the onset of a bacterial infection. I got increasingly more tired throughout the week and by Thursday I was forced to spend about 36 consecutive hours, horizontally.

   Fighting an infection causes my brain to not fire logically at my normal capacity thus bringing my ability to handle my emotions with said logic down to about 20 percent. Do you see where I'm going with this? I've spent some time this week crying, talking with those closest to me and facing some of my demons. Thankfully I'm not pms-ing because who knows what sort of unruly bitch-beast would have been released!


    With my fluctuating hormones on my side this week I got to explore into the realm of "liking" someone. YES, I said it...I LIKE SOMEBODY! That's right I, Carrie, like A BOY. An intelligent, awkward, sexy, dirty, independent social butterfly who is a mad cook with a generous heart. Sounds terrible right? You said it! Gods forbid I enjoy a man's company enough to want to enjoy it a little bit more. I seriously have a problem with this, a big one. I don't want to like a boy. I hate liking boys. The last time I let myself get really excited about a boy he ended up beating the crap out of me on a regular basis for two years. So naturally, I'm a little hesitant.

    Don't worry, this post isn't about that sort of thing. Plus, I love myself today and I would never let anyone treat me like that ever again. That all being said, I'm still a scared little girl when it comes to liking someone. I will not allow myself to get excited about it. And that, my friends, is the most torturous part about the whole thing. I want to be excited (at least a little) but the mere thought of it literally terrifies me. I mentioned crying earlier...ya. This shit brings me to tears.

   My insides are all torn up about this. I want to dream about the adventures we could have together, what it would be like to travel with him, playing music, practicing yoga in remote and beautiful locations, cooking together and creating bizarre and delicious ferments, bike tours, hikes, shooting, meeting strangers, the list goes on and on. But I stop myself dead in my tracks. I stop before we've even held hands. I can't bring myself to do it. This may sound extreme but it feels like I will fucking die if I let myself dream.

    *sigh* I don't even want to get to the point where I even begin to like someone because that is where I start to die. So I try to fool myself into believing that I'm not really feeling what I'm feeling. This is where my lack of ability for logical thinking this week, came in handy because I could no longer reason myself out of my emotions. *Bing* Break-through time!

   Finally I allowed myself be okay with the fact that I like this dude. And now that I've had some time to work through my fears and calm down a bit, I want to profess my like for him right. this. minute. This is a big deal for me and I feel a sense of urgency. I need to know NOW if he likes me the same or I'm left not knowing if it is safe to continue liking him. So of course, as some sort of cosmic joke, certain circumstances have lead to there being no way of contacting him for several days unless I run into him somewhere. This leaves me sitting on my hands...waiting. Effing waiting! I can't wait for this!  Limbo. Freaking limbo! (I'm trying to keep it clean see).

   So what happens next? I get to be. I get to be still. It's actually a really good thing that I haven't been able to contact him this week or I likely would have done and/or said something really stupid. This way I get to really understand and own how I feel and not put it onto him. I get to see how all of these fears have nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. So when I do get to see him again, I can be confident and at peace with my own shit. I can continue the relationship, however it unfolds, with love and kindness instead of fear and expectations. (big ol' sigh of relief here!)

   The emotional roller coaster is exhausting! I'm glad that I don't ride it that often. Although it is a rough ride, it always results in some kind of personal break through and that is an awesome adventure, especially when it's finally through!

   I get back to the place of peace and personal acceptance with a new understanding of what makes me, me. And I love me!


   Over and out until next week friends!

   Please feel free to comment below on your own experience, how crazy you think I am or any other adventures you want to share!



Adventure Tip:
This week I encourage you to reach out to someone close if you are having a rough go about things. It is absolutely the most important thing for me to have several people that I can talk to about what I am going through. My friends are able to see my fears from an outside and unaffected perspective. They can see things that I can't or wont. They point them out to me lovingly and sometimes with a bop on the forehead...whatever makes me get it! (my friend actually did this to me this week). Without their loving support I can honestly say that I have no idea where I would be. They remind me that I am not alone in this world inside and outside of my head! So adventure beyond your fears and express them to a safe loved one.


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Birthday Adventure Awesomeness: sushi and live music

   Welp it's that time of year again...the time for my birthday adventures! This year I kicked off my day of birth with a phone call to both of my parents at 6:45 am, thanking them for my life. Then I made my video commitment for the next phase of Project: Action Heart!

    I typically start celebrating my birthday at the beginning of the month by treating myself to one small indulgence after another and by the end of the month I go out big with a table full of friends and obscene amounts of raw fish! This year was no different however, I decided to go less formal and go conveyor belt. There is a quality sacrifice that goes with the convenience of the belt but it was totally worth it!


    It is a dangerous thing to be sitting within inches of a constant rolling, flow of delicious and interesting looking food throughout your entire dining experience. I was a little overwhelmed at first but got the hang of it pretty quickly. Shoveling food into my mouth, while maintaining one eye on the belt for the next plate that couldn't be passed up, I consequently ate myself into a sushi-induced food coma.

                                   How could I not when the food looks like this?


   The best part of my birthday dinner is the amazing people that show up. I invite who I would like to eat with but never know exactly who will come until dinner time. It is always an absolute honor to dine with whomever shows up and I am always touched that these people would come celebrate my birthday with me!

This year's crowd! I love each and everyone of them! (my son is making that face again) I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!


   I anticipated possible house guests so I made goodies only to not have anyone remain long enough to get them to eat them. Alas, the treats were left in my possession and I lived off them on all day Saturday. Riding the sugar wave is not the norm for me but....they were oh, so delicious! (Here comes the food porn!)

                                        Paleo pumpkin cheesecake anyone?


   How about some chocolate coffee caramel bars? (My Saturday's demise!)


   For my birthday weekend not only did I get to perform twice but I also managed to get in a trip to Seattle! Saturday night at the dive bar was probably my worst solo set in a while but still had a blast doing it and got to catch up a bit with some old friends.

                                                      Singing my heart out!


   Sunday night I got to play with my band Skitnik! Did I mention how much I love Skitnik? Cos I do!! It was a private party, in a lovely intimate setting where we were well received. And by well received I mean they danced and then they danced some more!!

                      We have so much fun with our ever evolving stage antics!

                                 

                                                    Heart!! (yes two Skitnik pics)


    A word about how grateful I am to be alive and to live my life today. There were several years of my life that I did not feel this way (I've been through quite a bit). I literally dreaded the very thought of waking in the morning. But that is no longer the case! I can honestly say that everyday (even when life sucks) I am so happy to be ALIVE, to get to experience all that the universe and the beings in it have to offer. I love that I have a path of love that I get to walk today and that I get to spread that around to those who are able to receive it! Life is an adventure my friends, take it on and own it!



Adventure Tip: Want to experience belt sushi in Bellingham? Head on down to KuruKuru Sushi. We had a large group that they were certainly willing to accommodate. I have no other conveyor belt sushi experience to compare this place to but I think just the fun of the the food rolling by is enough adventure in itself to check it out!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thanksgiving: family, a tacky shirt and why I don't clean my kitchen

   This week's adventure is about Thanksgiving. I know, I know...not really exciting but still an adventure. This year I got to host Thanksgiving dinner for part of my beloved family and between all the prep, cleaning, cooking, entertaining and everything else, it can be quite an ordeal. Thankfully, I love doing it and I love my family!

   In preparation for the day my son and I cleaned the house. He did everything else while I scrubbed the kitchen top to bottom. It had been a while and after it was done I went to cook in it and realized why I don't clean it often. I love to cook and I do it all the time. When the kitchen is spotless, I don't want to mess it up and cooking is messy. Cooking is a form of art and as an artist, I need to feel free to drop food on the floor, spill spices and splatter grease. But when the kitchen is clean, I tend to be more restricted in my cooking endeavors. And that just doesn't work for me. So I am okay with having a organized and tidy yet, dirty kitchen.

   Something very important to me is food, real food, happy food, living food. I eat almost nothing that comes with a label. I also don't eat any animals or products that came from a factory farm (concentrated animal feeding operation). That being said, my food options are often limited, especially when I don't cook for myself. So this year's Thanksgiving adventure started at Farmer Ben's. At Farmer Ben's they sell what I refer to as, "happy animal" meat.

   Going to the farm was an awesome experience! Not only could I see the animals, the conditions in which they are raised but I also got to talk to Jessica, farmer and co-owner. She doesn't normally run the store but she was there when I showed up and was an extremely personable wealth of valuable information about all of the meat they sell and ways to prepare it. Turns out she also went to school with my older brother (small county). Its a pretty great thing in my book to be able to have a good rapport with the people I get my food from.

      Here is what I picked up for the dinner (I'm not a huge fan of turkey).


  Threw this together with organic veggies (some from my garden!), herbs, spices and bone broth...


In all honesty I didn't know exactly how I was going to cook it all until the night before but the consensus was that it was delicious!


                                                      It's all cooked!! (that's me)


   I made some paleo stuffing and a grain free pumpkin cake that tuned out awesome. My fam brought some potatoes au gratin and my mom's spectacular home-made biscuits and we feasted! Simple and lovely!


   I enjoy providing delicious, healthy food for my loved ones but these gatherings are just as much (if not more so) about the people that are seated around the table! Love my family! (my son likes to make faces...I have no idea where he gets it)


   A tradition in my family at holiday gatherings is music...actually any time the family gets together in a room with a piano, it gets played...a lot! I was so excited when it occurred to me that when everyone came over, there would be other people playing music in my home. I love that! There has always been so much love surrounding the piano while growing up. And I love that we still do this today. In fact, even more now than ever.

                                        This picture warms my heart to no end!


   Lastly: the turkey shirt. You may have noticed that bedazzled beauty I was wearing in the photo above...I made that bad boy just for this day. In all honesty, I'm not exactly sure why. I don't dress like that normally but for some reason I needed to make this shirt. My son will confirm that every half hour or so while working on this shirt, I would stop to pace around the house and wonder out loud, "why the hell am I making this shirt?!" I was up well past midnight affixing jewels onto a brown, puffy-paint lined turkey with googlie eyes. The turkey print fabric, turned into a collar with eyelet lace sewed to the underside is the crowning glory! I put a lot of thought into the details of this shirt, because when you make something such as this, it is all about those details. Those details will literally make or break the design!
                                 
                              And as you can see...it turned out pretty amazing!


   I'm actually pretty proud of it. Not proud enough to wear it any other day of the year, but proud none the less. I even considered making a custom tacky shirts business. Want one made to order for any holiday? Contact me...seriously!

 
   Over and out until my next adventure! Thanks for reading and feel free to leave me a comment...tell me about your Thanksgiving, messy kitchen or to order your tacky holiday shirt!




Adventure tip:
Holidays can be tough and quite stressful. I know many people who don't have the loving and supportive family dynamic that I am blessed with. It is important to take care of yourself as best as you can any day but especially in higher stress situations. Check out The Daily Love for quotes, inspiration and more to help keep your spirits up and to keep love in heart when dealing with difficult situations.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

my son's 15th birthday part 2: an all-ages metal show and awesome mom award

                                                            continued from part 1
 
   My son has been telling me that he wanted to attend a metal show for a while now. This town has a really great under-aged venue called Make.Shift, but you have to wait a while for the type of show you want to see. It just so happened that there was one happening the evening after our shooting escapades, so we went. Four bands played and my son and I both agreed our favorite was Phalgeron.

Not the best picture but you get the idea. The bassist on the left was a long-haired, bearded blond in patched up denim who swung his hair around as he played...I dated a guy like that once...a Rock God!


    I don't really listen to metal too much. I don't mind it but it just isn't my preferred listening choice. Many of my friends and exes do and so I have been to my fair share of metal shows but it has been a while. I forget how much I like it more live. 
   
   For me live music isn't just about the music though, its also about the scene. Every genre of music has their own following. It's quite interesting to see the differences between them all, how they tend to dress, behave and more importantly, move to the music. Despite the differences by genre there seem to be two things that are the same throughout all music: 
1) the musicians: they (usually) give it their all no matter how large or small the crowd. They do this thing because they love it, it is their art, their means of expression. It is how they deal with the world that surrounds them. I love seeing that in all the different ways it happens. and...
2) the fans: they are all there watching the bands for the same reasons, because they love the music, they need the music. They need their music accompanied with all the other things to stimulate their senses. The crowd, the smells, the feeling in the air, the ringing in the ears, the common musical bond, all of it and more. 

   Love me some live music!! And I love the fact that I got to share some of that with my son on his birthday! My friend told me I got the "awesome mom award" for facilitating these activities for my son's birthday. I think it's pretty cool too! There is no way my folks would have done this for me on my 15th birthday. I love my folks but trying to picture either of them do anything remotely close to this when I turned 15 or that I would have even wanted to do this with them, is just about impossible!

   It's interesting how life turns out sometimes. You can essentially make it look like whatever you want. I love the fact that my son is growing up in an entirely different way that either his father or I did. And I love that even though the way we have chosen to raise our son can be considered a bit unorthodox, we all still get total love and support from both sides of our families. Some people aren't this lucky. We have love and diversity all around! All that love transfers over to that little baby pictured at the top of this post. What more could I ever want for my son?

   Thanks for reading! And I welcome your comments and feedback!



Adventure tip:  
Want a musical or art adventure? Check out Make.Shift whenever you happen to be in Bellingham! They are an awesome nonprofit whose goals are to "provide low-cost, environmentally sustainable support for artists and musicians". That really puts these folks in quite the nutshell. All the things that they offer the local music community is pretty amazing! I highly recommend supporting them!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

my son's 15th birthday part 1: firing guns and a metal show = awesome mom award

            This weekend it was my son's 15th birthday. Here he is at day one, sweet little guy!


   This year for his birthday he wanted to take me shooting for his birthday. He has done a bit of it with his father in Colorado and since I had never shot a gun before in my life, he wanted to take me. He wanted to spend HIS birthday money to do this with me! How cool is that? The other cool part...I mentioned to him that my mother had also really wanted to try it out and so we took her along too! How many 15 year-olds do you know that would spend their own money to take their mother and grandmother shooting? My kid rocks!


   When we got to the Norpoint Shooting Range I told the guy at the counter that my mom and I didn't know what we were doing but my son did. He asked, "So you've played Call of Duty?" I quickly interrupted with, "No, he's actually shot real guns before." And my son chimed in, "A lot!" We got our eye and ear protection and rented the first firearm. My son's choice...a 357 Magnum. He would've gone bigger but they didn't have any...my kid! He let me try it out...pretty awesome for my first shooting experience I say. And because I like taking pictures so much, here's some ammunition for you.


  Next up, my mother. You can read her view of the experience here. Her choice was a 9mm hand gun. I also got try this one out. Pretty cool, but certainly no Magnum! I really wanted to try out a rifle so I went for the 10-22. If I wanted to try an AK-47, I would have had wait to shoot it, plus I've been told the 10-22 is a good little gun, with cheap ammo so I went for it and got 100 rounds.


   Shooting a gun is way more involved that they make it look on tv. You really have to be present and aware. You really have to think about what you're doing, you have to focus, at least to be any good at it. There are so many tiny adjustments to make and each one makes a world of difference in how your shot will turn out. Not to mention, the condition of the gun itself...we didn't even get into that part of it. Not only do you fire the gun but it also needs to be reloaded and cleaned. It is a precision instrument that must be handled carefully and not because it could break but because it could cause serious damage. Yet another perfect metaphor for life!

   The entire experience was kind of surreal for me. I was there, taking in the new environment, the people there, the excitement of the experience but while I was shooting at the target, it never really occurred to me that I was using a weapon meant for destruction. That the thing in my hands could kill, even if only a small animal.


   For years I prided myself in never having even handled a gun. I wasn't against others using guns, I just never wanted to be in a place where it would be necessary. It also just didn't appeal to me. But within the last few years it started to make sense to me that being able to shoot a gun might just be a good skill to have. Not because I'm worried for my safety, that I want to hunt or that I have some blood lust to fulfill. It just makes sense in my brain that in the very least, having had this one experience would put me at way more of an advantage, should the situation occur, to be able to adequately use one. Why would I deny that for myself?

   One of the best parts of this family birthday outing was how great my son was at teaching my mother and I how to correctly use the firearms. Each one loaded and handled differently and he showed us all the ins and outs of them. He was very patient, started from square one and explained step by step exactly what and how we needed to do to load and fire the gun properly. And although, my son would have liked more time to actually shoot, my mom and I both showered him with immense gratitude and compliments on his actions for the afternoon. What a great kid I have!!


                                                                Continued in Part 2

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Port Townsend, Chautauqua and Skitnik

   This weekend I had the opportunity to travel to Port Townsend. The original reason for the trip was for my band Skitnik to perform at the New Old Time Chautauqua Vaudeville Circus on Sunday. I've been in dire need of an escape to look forward to. So when my band mates brought this up as a possible gig on a three day weekend, I decided to make a little vacation out of it. Well, played Carrie. I had a blast! My spirit, my body needs to roam, my eyes and brain need to take in new surroundings even if only for a couple days.
 
   One of the fun parts of visiting the Olympic Peninsula from where I live, is that you get to take a ferry. It's not a huge deal for many folks but pretty much any chance I get to be on or near the water, I thoroughly enjoy. It was the first time my 15 year old son could remember being on a ferry that large so we did a little exploring during our 30 minute ride across the sound. On our way back, I got to listen to his imagination run wild with all the things he would use the ferry for if he owned and lived on it...he is his mother's son for sure!
    Since my band was already going to be in Port Townsend for one show we decided to try to book another one. We landed at The Undertown Coffee and Wine bar with a last minute, afternoon set that ended up being more successful than any of us had anticipated. We played for tips until almost totally drenched in sweat and packed the back room!

   Here is where I talk about how much I love my band. Did I mention that I love Skitnik? Cos I do! I absolutely love the music that we play. Describe it? well...um...? One might say that it is eclectic Balkan inspired music from around the world and elsewhere (that's what the website says anyway) however, it is really so much more than that and I don't quite have an adequate description for it. I'm not sure that any of us does. What I can (attempt to) describe is the way I feel about these six other individuals and something about the magic that happens between us when all of our creative energies collide...and that description would be total love, admiration and absolute awesomeness! Each one of us has something special and amazing to offer the group and whenever one (or more) of us is missing from practice, we all agree that it feels like we're missing a limb. These people are my musical family! I can honestly say that every time we are together practicing or performing, my heart is overflowing with joy...pure, absolute joy! In fact, I have this tendancy on stage to turn and face them instead of the audience. Sure I love playing for the crowd and talking with them afterwards, shaking hands and exchanging gratitude but it is the band, it is Skitnik and the beautiful web of amazing energy that we weave that gets me going. I could do it every day...seriously! There is no drama in Skitnik, we communicate, we collaborate, we bring our best to the table and we consider each other. Need I say more? Maybe to come watch us perform sometime soon cos we're awesome!
   Now, this thing that is Chautauqua. A few of my band mates have participated in several of their events and got us hooked up with this event in Port Townsend. Their goal is to build community through laughter, education and entertainment. Apparently they've been at it for quite some time now and I've got to say I was pretty impressed. Backstage was friendly and chaotic. I don't know much about these folks at all but I think its safe to say that that is generally how they operate...with friendly chaos. As a performer, I love to watch other performers do what they do, especially when they love it. It is an amazing and inspiring thing, no matter what they do...to watch someone come alive with their art, giving it to the crowd with every ounce of their spirit is love and magic! I feel fortunate to have been introduced to such a great group of people and to have had the opportunity to watch the show. That's a whole other thing! I literally felt like a young child totally enveloped by the moment with my eyes wide open and giant grin, completely captivated with wonder and amazement at every single move made on stage. If you ever have a chance to see a New Old Time Chautauqua performance DO IT!

   Next, the gratitude I have for old friends and a warm, inviting place to visit and rest when I'm away from home. I think this picture of my son sleeping speaks for itself.

The home is spacious and open yet cozy, warm and bright. It is as lovely and inviting as the people that dwell within its walls and I enjoy every minute I get to be there. I only hope that when people visit me they get something remotely close to what I get when I'm there. Yes, I'm quite grateful for my old friend and the new ones I make whenever I visit.
   Signing off until my next adventure!



Adventure tip: 
I like to find places that serve my favorite coffee beverage just the way I like it, with their own spin of course. I discovered Better Living Thought Coffee this weekend and they are awesome! Everything I could ask for in a coffee shop and probably more!
Three main points:
1) They make their own Chai!
2) As much local, organic, pasture raised, etc, etc (in other words REAL FOOD) as possible! 
3) The view!! it's right on the water! 
I am willing to bet that there are many other amazing things about this place that I am totally unaware of but you can rest assured that I will be investigating it more thoroughly every time I visit PT.
   

   

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Lake Ann part 2: Glacial dip and Hike Lunches

  continued from part 1

   The lake was in site but mostly iced over with little actual shoreline access. Seeing the lake but not being able to see where I could actually get to shore safely was torturous at this point. Like being thirsty after a long, hot day filled with sweaty, dirty manual labor and all you want is a tall glass of your favorite beverage, ice cold. Where the beads of condensation are slowly dripping down the side. Where you're so dry, those drops refresh your hand as it holds the glass. You can see it just waiting for you, you can taste it, you can feel it but your waitress is taking those glasses to another table. I had to keep walking around the lake until I could find a spot to get to the water. I was focused, determined. AT LAST I found a spot! I headed straight down, nothing would stop me! These feet needed the sweet relief that only glacial water could accommodate.

    I love the mental image of myself that I like to think others around the lake saw. A lone, barefooted, tattooed woman, accompanied by an all white dog, determinedly marching (hobbling is more like it) straight into that clear blue lake. And into that lake I marched! I felt like I was in one of those old cartoons where the character's feet are literally on fire and they jump into some water and breathe a huge sigh of relief. The calm that ensues after that is unmistakable. I'm in the lake but it was too cold to stay in for very long. Probably about 15 seconds. But I made it!

   I then proceeded to sit and eat one of the best lunches ever. I think all hike lunches are the best. The food really doesn't have to be that great to be amazing at 5,000 plus feet above sea level after it took you 2 or 3 hours on foot to get there. I ate that pear like I had never eaten a pear in my life! As I sat on a rock by the lake, soaking up the sun, I watched my dog run around on the snow and drink from the lake, it's all so peaceful and beautiful, beautiful beyond words. There are feelings in my gut and my spirit that there aren't words for and I'm ok with that. Part of why I love hiking so much is that I get to be reminded of those wordless understandings with my spirit every time I'm out. When surrounded by the silent noise of nature, the pure air in a place where far fewer people go than those who don't, it is a sacred experience. This is the hike lunch. This is why they are all the best.

   Time for a dip in the lake! I was pretty intent on taking a swim while on the hike up but once I had put my feet in and cooled off a bit, I had second thoughts. Overhearing other hikers vocalize my thoughts with responses regarding the glacial temperatures didn't help either. As I sat, I thought to myself, "Carrie, if you knew that you were never going to come back here, what would you do?" The answer...Jump in of course!  Yes, it was cold, very cold, glacial in fact, but quite refreshing. It takes refreshing to a whole new level. My body felt cleansed and tingly (not numb). A hiker's baptism! The feeling lingered for longer than I can remember. Good stuff.
     Here's me, after my dip in the lake (sometimes I'm not too skilled with my 35mm).

    After my glacial dip, I let the sun dry my skin, packed up and headed back (with my Vibrams on). I gorged myself on trail mix and melted chocolate while driving down the switched-back mountain road (also a funny sight in my head). Made it home with a lovely open, raw feeling on the bottom of my feet and in my soul.



adventure tip: 
One of my traditions when leaving Mount Baker after a hike, snowboarding or whatever is to get myself an espresso at the Wake n Bakery. A great little coffee place with friendly service and an amazing array of delicious baked goods to tempt even my non-grain eating self to at least hover over. They also have a lot of merchandise you can pick up with their clever name and slogan "Get Sconed" on it. I highly recommend checking them out anytime that you're on your way through Glacier.

Want to hike Lake Ann?

Lake Ann Part 1: Hiking alone and barefoot

   I had wanted to hike to Lake Ann for a few years now. As the end of summer was rapidly approaching, I decided that this year was the year to make the trip. A week before I went I had thought that if no one could go with me, I would just do a shorter hike, closer to town. But as Saturday drew nearer, something shifted in me and I decided that I wanted to go on this hike bad enough that it didn't matter whether or not I went alone. When it came down to it, I ended up going alone. Hiking alone can be a bit scary for a woman but can also be a very empowering experience.  My mother, who still worries about me despite all the crazy things I did in my youth, was afraid for my safety but I assured her that not only did I have a knife and a whistle, but that the real danger out on the trails lies with me getting injured with no one else around, not scary hikers. So my dog and I went on this lovely hike together.
  
    I decided before I hit the trail that I wanted to do this one barefoot, at least one direction. There is something so perfectly grounding about walking barefoot. Feeling the different textures under your feet and learning to conform your foot to the ground as it is instead of stomping your boots down, is a lovely thing and a perfect metaphor for life. I strongly encourage anyone to try going barefoot even if only in your own home or yard. The feeling of pure mountain mud or a stream between your toes is like none other. I did get many comments from other hikers about how tough I was and I assured every one of them that, "It really isn't that bad. You figure out how to walk without getting hurt real quick".

    Deciding to hike barefoot proved to be the most mentally challenging part of this hike. I did bring my Vibrams just in case but I managed to tough it out all the way to the lake. The first 3 miles or so were pretty nice, a little rocky and a couple of snow fields but if you're at all used to being barefoot its no problem. About a mile or so from the lake the trail got quite rocky, like the rocks along train tracks, only worse. It wasn't too bad at first but part of what made it difficult was that I didn't know how long the trail would remain this way. If I had known, I probably would have put my shoes on but I didn't. The other difficult part was that I often don't know when to quit. I kept at it to the point of relatively intense pain.  Now, I consider myself a pretty tough cookie with a decent threshold for pain. Plus, I'm a bit of a glutton for punishment. I really do enjoy seeing how far I can push my physical and mental self on occasion. This hike brought me to tears. I almost gave up and put on my shoes. Almost.

   I'm a big fan of positive self-talk (yes, I talk to myself. A lot actually). It has gotten me pretty far in life. I have also been pretty foolish at times and caused myself long-term injuries out of sheer stubborn will. So I had to do a little check in up there on that mountain. Somewhere within a mile after this picture was taken (see those rocks below my feet?...those were a piece of cake compared to the last mile!).

I had committed myself to doing this hike totally barefoot at least one way. But what I knew was that it was ok for me to put on my shoes if I really needed to. So, with raw, burning feet, sweat, tears and that kind of mental exhaustion that only comes with pain, I knew that I didn't have to force myself to do this and that if I did decide to put on my shoes that that didn't mean that I was weak or a quitter or that I should be completely disappointed with myself. It just meant that I had reached my limit...no biggie...we all have them. And only when I was really ok with the fact that I Carrie, have limits, I was able to continue barefoot despite the pain I was in. Other hikers were starting to pass me at this point, admiring (I think) my crazy, barefootedness. I would declare my pain and continue at my slow and steady pace. The thought of how refreshing it would feel to plunge my burning feet into the icy lake kept me going.


continued here in part 2